For many women in Israeli-Palestinian families, walking the narrow tightrope between strength and vulnerability is fraught with peril. If they stray from societal expectations – by appearing too assertive or too subdued – they can find themselves painfully isolated, abandoned by both family and community. As Sa’ar (2001) poignantly observed: “Your husband loves you when you are rich; your parents love you when you are strong” (p. 723). This harsh reality underpins her portrayal of women living in sociocultural limbo: lacking recognition for either feminine compliance or assertive resilience.

Theoretical Background: Gender Norms and Patriarchal Order

In her article “Lonely in Your Firm Grip: Women in Israeli-Palestinian Families,” Sa’ar explores how entrenched gender roles dictate behavior – society moulds individuals into “men” or “women” through rigid norms, enforced via a patriarchal structure that punishes deviation (Sa’ar, 2001, p. 729). These norms are embedded in both public and private spheres, assigning narrow roles and limiting agency. Her main thesis: Israeli-Palestinian women who drift outside the expected behavioral spectrum – either through excessive softness or fortitude – risk losing social support and being plunged into loneliness.

Four Case Studies: Real-Life Evidence of Loneliness

Sa’ar illustrates her argument through four deeply affecting narratives of women she calls In’am, Na’ila, Dina, and Nabiha. In’am, in particular, epitomizes the tragic consequences of altruistic strength: as her family’s sole breadwinner, her generosity is met with physical and moral humiliation rather than gratitude. These stories reveal a disturbing pattern: society’s reaction to female strength depends on whether it’s perceived as self-serving or self-sacrificial.

Loneliness: Theory vs. Reality

Drawing on Winnicott and Moustakas, Sa’ar acknowledges the idea that loneliness may foster emotional growth, creativity, and self-awareness. But she contrasts this with Fromm-Reichmann’s view that true isolation – particularly within the family – can be mentally destructive, likening it to “emptiness of the soul” (Sa’ar, 2001, p. 723). Her portrayal emphasizes loneliness not as a choice but as an imposed condition stemming from social rejection.

Who Is Responsible – and What Can Be Done?

Sa’ar debates whether the root causes of women’s loneliness stem from societal structures or internalized beliefs. Public power remains largely male-dominated, and despite superficial declarations of gender equality, deep-rooted assumptions about fundamental differences between men and women persist. The article leaves several questions unanswered, such as:

• Is loneliness a private state or a socially mediated process?
• Are women isolated by their own choices or by cultural imposition?
• What are the underlying sources of their loneliness?

These questions point to the need for deeper psychological, familial, and sociocultural research.

Common Threads in Divergent Stories

Despite diverse backgrounds and personalities, Sa’ar finds a shared theme among all four women: their inability to strike the required balance between power and weakness. Whether strong or weak, they suffer a loss of community support, nurturing contempt instead of care from relatives, often expecting something in return rather than receiving unconditional help.

Gender, Solidarity, and Cultural Ideals

Sa’ar extends her critique beyond male dominance to highlight that female solidarity is often discouraged in Palestinian-Israeli society: mothers, sisters, even close female relatives rarely step forward to assist women in hardship (Sa’ar, 2001, p. 735). The ideal of a supportive Arab family, replete with love and mutual care, remains aspirational; lived experience, she argues, is dominated by neglect, isolation, and systemic patriarchal violence.

Feminine Strength and “Separate Worlds”

Linking to her later work, Feminine Strength: Reflections on Power and Gender (Sa’ar, 2006, p. 415), she advocates shifting perspective: women’s worth should be assessed on their own terms – not in comparison with men. She draws on scholars such as Davis-Shaefer et al., emphasizing the need for an independent female world with its own values of influence, prestige, and social agency (Sa’ar, 2001, p. 735).

Education, Marriage Timing & Employment Realities

Recent data reveals important trends affecting Palestinian-Israeli women:

• Education rising – but structural limits remain:
  • Female enrollment in lower and upper secondary education in Palestine reached 97% and 78%, respectively, in 2022 – outpacing male students in many areas.
  • In Israel, though only 24% of Arab women attain higher education (vs. ~50% of Jewish women), Palestinian-Israeli women have surpassed men in bachelor’s degree attainment (11.1% vs. 10.1%).

• Delayed marriage correlates with education – but can risk social marginalization:
  • Research shows higher educational attainment tends to delay age of marriage among Palestinian-Israeli women, yet strong cultural norms still favor early marriage for lower-educated women.

• Labor participation remains low:
  • Only about 41.8% of Arab-Palestinian women in Israel participate in the formal workforce – compared to 74.2% of Jewish women.
  • Palestinian women earn approximately 32% less than Arab men, and 38% less than Jewish women, further entrenching economic inequality.

These statistics highlight the tension between growing educational opportunities and persistent gender-gendered expectations and barriers. Women pursuing education and professional paths may face isolation or familial disapproval – echoing Sa’ar’s argument regarding the costs of stepping outside traditional gender roles.

Trauma, Conflict & Mental Health Challenges

The ongoing conflict and structural inequalities intensify emotional isolation and mental health struggles among Palestinian women:

• Chronic Trauma beyond Clinical PTSD:
  • Many mental health professionals describe Palestinian women’s suffering in Gaza as continuous, cumulative trauma – not neatly diagnosed PTSD but a state some call “chronic traumatic stress disorder”.

• Severe Service Gaps and Rising Need:
  • Organizations such as the Gaza Community Mental Health Programme (GCMHP) have treated over 20,000 clients, yet operate under strain amid blockade driven displacement and infrastructure collapse.

• Gendered Impacts and Disproportionate Psychological Distress:
  • In Israel, 41% of Arab women report high psychological distress – far above the rates among both Arab men (28%) and Jewish women (25%).
  • During recent conflicts, rates of anxiety and depression among Palestinian women surged – even exceeding 60% in some studies.

• Postpartum and Disability Benefits Inequity:
  • Even where emotional disorders are recognized, Arab and Bedouin women are significantly less likely to receive disability allowances and state support compared to other groups.

These realities underscore that women’s loneliness in Sa’ar’s study is not merely interpersonal – it is structurally rooted in conflict, discrimination, and systemic deprivation.

Summary Assessment

Sa’ar’s article is a vivid, well argued exploration of women’s lived reality in Israeli-Palestinian families. Through a combination of narrative cases and theoretical grounding, she contends that deviation from the narrow definitions of acceptable female behavior leads inevitably to isolation and loss of support. Her research underscores how a deeply patriarchal family ideal persists in ideology but fails in practice.

Mental Health Landscape and Barriers

Recent research paints a dire picture of mental health challenges facing Palestinian Arab women – both in Israel and in refugee settings:

• Elevated anxiety/depression: During the COVID 19 pandemic, over 63% of Israeli Arab mothers scored in clinical ranges for anxiety and nearly 67% for depression, often triggered by economic hardship, fatigue, and community isolation.
• Barriers to help-seeking: Despite high need, many women refrain from seeking professional support due to stigma, attitudinal resistance (preferring to self-manage), or logistical issues like transport access.
• Loneliness and socioeconomics: Loneliness is significantly higher among Israeli-Arabs than among native Jews, driven largely by poverty, discrimination, and social disenfranchisement. When economic disadvantage is accounted for, cultural ethnicity disparities diminish.

These data underline Sa’ar’s thesis: structural isolation, not personal weakness, often underlies women’s loneliness.

Emerging Support Networks and Female Solidarity

In response to these systemic challenges, several grassroots and NGO initiatives have emerged in Palestinian and Israeli society:

• Talʿat Movement: Founded in 2019 after the killing of Israa Ghrayeb, Talʿat mobilizes Palestinian women across cities to protest gender-based violence and advocate for legal reform and solidarity within and beyond Palestine.
• SAWA: Operating since 1998 out of Ramallah and Jerusalem, SAWA provides helplines, legal support, and mobile clinics to assist women and children facing domestic violence, trafficking, or other abuse.
• AISHA Association (Gaza): Focuses on economic empowerment and psychosocial support for displaced women, women-headed households, and survivors of violence, including those with disabilities.
• Women of the Sun: A cross-border peace and empowerment group that brings together Israeli and Palestinian women in trauma-healing, advocacy, and mutual support, boasting over 3,000 members by mid 2024.

Key Functions of These Initiatives

They work to:

1. Raise awareness of gender-based violence
2. Offer anonymous counseling and legal advocacy
3. Provide psychosocial rehabilitation and trauma support
4. Build cross community female solidarity and peer networks

These efforts directly counteract the isolation and lack of support Sa’ar describes in her 2001 article.

Conclusion: Toward Healing and Empowerment

Amalia Sa’ar’s exploration of loneliness among Israeli-Palestinian women remains deeply relevant. Her insights into the fragile balance between social power and vulnerability anticipate many of the mental health challenges and service barriers revealed by recent research. Importantly, the rise of movements like Talʿat, SAWA, AISHA, and Women of the Sun reflects a growing refusal to accept cultural isolation – demonstrating newly forming female solidarity, agency, and collective action. Any future dialogue on gender and family in Palestinian-Israeli society must integrate both theoretical reflections and this real-world mobilization toward empowerment.